Tired times, waiting, fleeting, stolen.
Meted tick-tocks.
Moments meant for someone else’s life,
Descend like sparse crumbs fall from the dinner table.
Mine to capture, hide, and cling to for all I’m worth.
Ricochet your guilt if you must.
Bounce back to me. Soon.
I love the crumb metaphor, and am now newly enamored of the word “ricochet.” Gonna have to use it in a poem, very soon. Thank you for that. 🙂
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Thank you for your comments :)) I’m fond of ricochet too!
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“Ricochet your guilt if you must.
Bounce back to me. Soon.” Love these lines, especially.
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I appreciate your comments, thanks!
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Sounds like a very dysfunctional relationship!! Passing you the guilt with passive-aggressive barbs!
Great poem!
Dwight
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Thanks so much, Dwight!
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I misread “Meted tick-tocks” as “Melted tick-tocks,” which I really love. 🙂
The last two lines are killer. Beautiful work.
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I really appreciate your kind comments, thanks. (wish I’d thought of melted tick tocks!)
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A very well crafted poem Jo-Anne, the pacing and line breaks are a perfect fit for the rhythm of the secrecy, guilt and stolen moments you share ☺
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I hoped the form met the subject, thank you so much for your lovely comments.
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Love it… you are a quadrille master. The meted tick-tock and the ricochet… are excellent words to describe such a relationship
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Björn, your comments mean a lot to me. I appreciate the encouragement. As for the words, I’m trying to learn from your beautiful use of rich, meaningful vocabulary.
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Everyone has stolen my thunder, it seems. There is an old song from my childhood (50’s, I guess) called Ricochet Romance. Who needs a so-called lover who sends guilt your way? Nicely done, Jo-Anne.
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How wonderful! Just had a listen on youtube :)) Thank you for your kind comments, Victoria.
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You really know how to let the knife’s edge shine through, Ms. Jo. Just the tip. Just enough to for a short sharp stab to the heart.
Others have already commented on my favourite lines, but I’ll just mention that the alliteration in the first rhree lines is very effective, particularly that delicious skip from “Meted tick ticks“ (!!) to “Moments meant for someone else’s life.” I can actually taste those lines, and they are yummy.
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Kern, thanks so much for stopping by and for leaving your generous comments. I’m really enjoying participating in the Quadrille every two weeks. I’m by no means a poet but I like the challenge of concentrating a scene to it’s emotional core.
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Wow! I really love this. I kept reading and rereading it. Very nicely done☺
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Thank you, Pat, for your kind comments. I’m enjoying participating in the quadrilles. I appreciate the challenge of the form and I love the inspiration I collect as I read the work of talented poets like you!
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I liked the last line about bouncing back soon.
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Thank you for stopping by, Frank, and for the nice comment :))
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The terse lines are like quick, little jabs conveying the message. I especially enjoyed this description….”Descend like sparse crumbs fall from the dinner table”.
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